To be an honest person who can look at the bright side of things when everything seems so dark and appreciate every little thing. I realised that moving on with my life will be a way to show her my love. ![]() Imagine how would you feel if someone was to tell you that. It wouldn’t be fair to blame them, that because they left us we are unable to continue with our plans, with our life. Read also ‘ Traumaversary: Ways to Deal With a Trauma Anniversary‘ In their honour Imagine how guilty she would feel if she knew I didn’t get married because of her, because she died before I got married. Am I going to blame my mum for leaving me and for not being able to get married? How can I do this? She loved me so much. How do you think she would feel?” Those words got me. That, because she died, you refuse to get married. She asked me, “Why”? When I said it’s because I can’t imagine not having my mum at my wedding, she said, “Imagine you would say this to your mum. You have to continue living your life because otherwise, you will make them feel guilty for departing.Ī friend of mine planned to get married when I told her that I probably never will, despite loving my partner. You still love your mum, dad, brother…the same love, you hold on to it, treasure memories of them in your heart. He didn’t leave you here for you to feel guilty. But God left you here on this planet for a reason. We blame ourselves for continuing our lives without them. How could she ever be happy without him? And that’s where the blame comes again. She told me that after she had lost her dad, her thought was that she would never be able to laugh again. She said she felt the same about being happy. Surely I can’t do it without her? My friend, whose father passed away a few years ago, shared her story with me. How could I? I wanted my mum to be at my wedding. ![]() My life hasn’t stopped yet, but it took me years to realise it”. ![]() The point is that after years I realised that I had to let go. And it’s not that I’ve forgotten now or that my love is weaker now. I miss you mum, so often, yet I had to learn to move on with my life. “All I can do now is write this letter to you, my dear mum in heaven, and tell you that I still love you so much. Read also ‘ Spring of Hope: What Is the Meaning of Hope?‘ Writing a letter to heaven How could you still even think so after what you have been going through” ? You always used to say that things happen for a reason. I did ask so many times why you? Why is it me who is losing my mum? Why can’t I have you for a bit longer? And I wanted to scream so many times how much I miss you. But just as He gave me you, He took you away from me. I wanted to tell you again how much I love you and how honoured I was to have you as my mum. ![]() I couldn’t forgive myself that I was too late. I managed to purchase the last flight ticket back home to only find out on my way to you that it was too late. When I literally ran out of the hospital just in time to escape before my operation. It was so hard not to be there with you when you breathed out for the last time. It’s hard as I would like to hug you and tell you how awful I feel that I didn’t make it to say the last Goodbye. I miss your voice, your gentle hands, your hugs. “My dear mum in heaven, there hasn’t been a day that I didn’t miss you. She has been looking after me from there with such love and care, as always. I wrote this letter to heaven nine years after she’s gone.
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